I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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