got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
