You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
