the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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