your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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