My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
