Buhtt sex?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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