your room smells of hookers.
And success
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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