did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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