she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
