I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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