Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
