Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
