so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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