I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
