There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
