Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
