sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
