you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What a dumb baby whore.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
