Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
