Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
