we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
