tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
