Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
