i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
