Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
did you just send me my own nude
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
