I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
