I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
