yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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