I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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