i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
