i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
