I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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