I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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