Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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