dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How's work?
Spinning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
