Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
