Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Couch. On fire.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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