Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
