new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
