apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
