Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
