You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your dad touched me again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
