jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
