dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
