I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
