Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
