just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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