I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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