hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
