I heard we made out
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
