just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
