What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
