What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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