and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
