I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
