you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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