You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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