Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
