I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
